New York is choked with rich people consuming conspicuously and making us staid, middle-class folks feel like nobodies (which we are, but we don’t like to think so). So when I stumble upon a lampoon of the trendy, Bacchic, hyper-Chelsea culture, I chuckle with envy. Check out this excerpt from Andy Borowitz’s humorous piece on the real estate ridiculousness in New York:
IN XANADU DID KUBLA KHAN a hedge-fund manager’s 3 BR, 4 BA pleasure dome decree. The West Village, Chelsea, and the meatpacking district are all a coke vial’s throw from this molten-hot trophy building that boasts New York’s highest concentration of douchebags. Just minutes from downtown’s chicest restaurants and just hours from being seated in one. Don’t miss out on the chance to have some dude from Merrill vomit outside your doorway while his skeletal girlfriend screams, “I know you’re doing my sister, you dick!” Recently indicted seller highly motivated. $4.25M.
Priceless in its accuracy. The whole thing is in this week’s New Yorker, which I subscribe to so I can feel cultured.